“Oww,” I groaned, sucking in a breath. The tightened dress pressed in on my lungs, and my spine felt like it might snap under the pressure. Straightening my posture, I prepared myself for the final lace to be tied. I could’ve sworn I heard the menacing crack of bones as the dress was cinched tight.

“Oh, hush up,” my maid, Aleria, said, spinning me around. Her eyes traced the dress, studying me as if I was a doll that needed fixing. A couple seconds of uncomfortable silence, and she clasped her dark-skinned hands together. “Perfection.”

Because that was all the Barek family approved of. If it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t worth paying any mind to.

“I’m assuming you have your speech all well and prepared,” Aleria continued, grabbing a curling iron for a tiny piece of stray hair at the front of my face. It wasn’t really a question, rather a ‘I expect you have it ready, so I know it is ready,’.

“Yes,” I said briefly. Squirming out of Aleria’s grip, who was about to put even more makeup on my face, I declared, “That’s enough. I look fine.”

“Fine? Since when was that your standard?” She asked, surprised.

I crossed my arms. “It’s not me with that standard and you know it.”

Aleria nodded, but obviously didn’t believe me. Grabbing my elbows, she steered me over to a full-sized mirror in the corner of my bedroom. My eyes took everything in. The dress, which was dark purple in colour, made me look like a princess, and not in a good way. An oversized white petticoat stretched to the ground, and the top was basically squeezing my insides out, making me look tiny from the waist up, but huge from the waist down. My black hair was curled and coated in hair spray, and everything from my icy blue eyes to my pale lips were covered in heavy makeup.

“You sure I need all of this?” I asked doubtfully. If this was my parents and everybody else’s version of perfect, I wanted nothing of it.

“Why wouldn’t you?” Aleria scolded. “You’re going up in front of the whole city in only one hour, announcing the new Explorers of today! A great honour, surely. And you ask, ‘Is this necessary?’ Hah! It’s the bare minimum,”

“Yeah, I…I guess,”

“Yelena.” Aleria sighed. “You have got to start taking this more seriously. You wonder why your parents are so hard on you? It is because you just don’t care! And until you start, how can we call you a Barek?”

The words sunk in, carrying with them a thousand pounds of hurt, anger, and doubt. I whispered, voice barely rising over the quiet stereo in the background. “Who am I, then?”

My heart sank in my chest as I said it. Honestly, what did being a Barek really mean? That we were supposed to be bigger and better than everybody else? Is that truly the point of everything?

Aleria must not have heard my words, because she seemed unbothered. She simply offered me a pair of diamond earrings and a golden necklace to match. I begrudgingly took them, officially feeling like the city’s biggest loser.

“Now you’re ready. Go on then, might as well get an early start to the ceremony. I am sure your parents are waiting.”

“I’m not going with them,” I decided. “I’ll take Neptune and ride up there by myself.”

Aleria looked mortified. “Surely you’re not thinking about that? Your dress will get filthy! I just cannot allow that, Yelena, I cannot!”

“You ‘cannot allow it?’ Well, unfortunately, you can’t really tell me what to do, can you?”

“What would your mother say?” Aleria crossed her arms, almost certain that she had me there.

“I’ll go and ask her,” I answered, giving my own confidence to the words.

Striding out of the room before Aleria could say another word, I hurried down the fancy stairs of my family’s penthouse. Outside, I looked calm and collected. But inside, I was a mess of rage. What right did my maid have, telling me what I can and cannot do? None, that’s what!

“Yelena,” I heard a soft voice.

I had just reached the bottom step when I saw my mother standing there, an indifferent expression on her face. She looked the image of beauty with her dark blue gown, wide hoop skirt, and blond hair curled. Even her posture looked rehearsed.

“You’re in a hurry,” she noticed. Her tight, Polish accent only added to the fierce presence she portrayed. I had a Polish accent too, but people only really heard when I was stressed or angry.

People from down the street would’ve heard my accent today.

“I thought I should get an early start. I’m riding Neptune there.”

Her gaze traced my outfit, eyes narrowing slightly. “You are not.”

“I am.”

There was a small pause. She stepped closer, heels clinking on the marble flooring.

“Today,” she said dangerously, fixing a wrinkle in my dress like I was a child. “is the most important day of your life. Even more important than your wedding. More important than your first child. A great honour the government has given you today, and they do not extend invitations twice.”

“I know.”

My mother gave me a cold stare. “Do you? I would’ve thought you would have a little gratitude if you really did know.”

“Yes. But I don’t think riding a horse there will completely ruin everybody’s day, do you?” My voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Perhaps not. But appearances are everything. Teenagers like you have waited years for the honour you were just handed. Do you really think those families will see a confident leader on horseback?” She leaned in closer, voice barely above a whisper, “Or a child playing rebellion?”

Heat rose to my face. “I’m not careless.”

“Then why do you behave like you are? You carry our name with you. Not your preferences or moods. Our name.”

“It’s just a ride, Mother.”

“It is never just anything for people like us,” Silence stretched. “If you insist on riding, you may. I will not drag you into the tram like a toddler.”

For a brief second, I thought I had won. I began to turn away, but my mother grabbed my wrist with her hand. It wasn’t tight enough to hurt, but threatening all the same.

“If you arrive in an improper state. If even a single thread on your dress is dirty, I will not shield you from the results. The council already questions whether you are…suitable.”

My mind reeled with the words. The council actually said that?

“If you embarrass this family,” she finished. “You will prove them right.”

I blinked away the tears, yanking my arm out of my mother’s grip. My throat closed over, and I struggled to get the words out. “I will prove nothing to nobody.”

Walking towards the elevator, I hesitated a second before pushing the button. My mother stared quietly after me, judging every move I made from afar. Swallowing hard, I grabbed my fancy white coat and gloves and slipped inside.

The fresh air out back was a very welcomed scent after the heavy perfume in the penthouse. I just stood there for a second, on the wooden patio, drinking it all in. Tall apartment buildings stretching into the horizon, and smaller houses further away, on the lowest level. A few trams rushed past on the neatly paved road, bells clanging to alert pedestrians. It always amazed me how nice everything was, despite what had happened.

Still, even the beautiful scenery didn’t make me feel any better. Obviously, I didn’t belong anywhere. Not in my mother’s world, I’m not perfect enough. And not in everyone else’s, because I’m not imperfect enough.

A sharp bark interrupted my glum thoughts, and I blinked back to reality. Blue, my pet Husky, came rushing out of the apartment after me, white and grey fur flashing in the light. His tail wagged back and worth happily as he skidded to a stop right in front of my feet.

“Came outside with me? I can’t say I blame you,” I sighed. “I would rather live out here than with my mom,”

Another sound followed, this time deeper and heavy. Glancing over to the large communal stables, I saw Neptune standing there. He was a beautiful Shire horse, with a black body and a unique grey mane, tail, and hooves. His eyes were a light brown, and there truly wasn’t a mean bone in his body.

I slowly walked over, unlocking his gate and throwing it wide open. Neptune pranced out, his huge figure towering above mine. He bowed his head and blew in my face affectionately.

“Hey, buddy,” I sighed, patting his shoulder. He sniffed my dress, as if deciding whether the outfit was acceptable or not for him. Apparently it was, because he snorted and nuzzled my hand. Smiling, I slipped into the small tack shed by the stables. I grabbed the bridle hanging on a hook, the brown leather feeling comforting in my hands. The bit jingled quietly as I moved towards Neptune.

“Don’t start with me,” I said as Neptune jerked his head away stubbornly.

Neptune snorted again, but eventually dipped his head lower so I could put it on. He accepted it without a fuss, like always, and I drew the crownpiece over his grey-tipped ears. I hesitated a second, debating whether I should go back and get the saddle. But, taking a deep breath, I decided to do it without. My mom might be able to control what happens inside the house, but not outside.

Gathering the absurd amount of fabric in my skirt, I placed my hand on Neptune’s back. He swayed slightly, preparing himself for what I was about to do, before steadying.

“Don’t make me regret this,” I muttered, taking a deep breath.

With a practiced motion, I grabbed his mane and swung myself onto his back. The dress restricted my breath, and my skirt caught awkwardly on his side. It only lasted for a second, though, as I quickly straightened my dress out and fixed my posture so I could breathe better.

Blue barked happily beside me, obviously ready to follow me to the ends of the earth. I leaned over to give him one tiny pat before sitting back upright.

At the gentle pressure of my legs, Neptune stepped forward, body completely in sync with mine. I steered him over to the side of the road, and he broke into an even, powerful trot. I noticed a couple people stare and point, probably whispering about this rich girl riding a horse through the street bareback. I didn’t care, though. Let them think about who and what they want to.

Neptune’s hooves stuck the pavement in the steady rhythm, and Blue followed faithfully beside us at a small run. People stepped aside as we passed, some bowing their heads politely, others smirking and talking behind their hands. I kept my chin lifted, eyes forward, pretending I didn’t notice a thing.

The closer we came towards the city's center, the busier it became. Banners hung from lampposts, fluttering slightly at every puff of breeze. Guards stood along the borders of the central square, expressions unreadable.

Neptune slowed down towards the base of the plaza without needing to be asked. The crowd was thick here, and the deafening buzz of chatter rang through my ears. Blue whimpered and inched closer to Neptune’s body, ears flat up against his head. Large crowds weren’t really his thing.

“Whoah,” I soothed, pulling the reins up to my chin. Neptune stopped obediently, stamping his feet and swishing his tail. “Good boy,”

Letting go of the reins, I gathered my skirt yet again and slid off his back. The landing jarred me slightly, and it took me a moment to steady myself. Brushing off my dress, I noticed with dismay my backside was covered with dust and was very wrinkled. I did my best to fix it, but it still looked a little off. My heart pumped with fear as I remembered my Mom’s words:“If even a single thread on your dress is dirty…”

“Excuse me,” A female journalist nudged my shoulder, and I turned to face her with a forced smile on my face. “Mind if I ask you a few questions before your big day?”

“Uh, no. Not at all,” I nodded, grabbing Neptune’s reins again to make sure he didn’t run off.

“How do you feel, as you’re about to make this big speech?” She asked me, shoving a recorder in my face.

“Fine, yeah. I prepared well, practiced a lot. I feel…ready.”

The reporter scribbled down notes, flinging her brown hair out of her face. “I noticed, as many others, you came here on an unsaddled horse with a dog at your side. Why? It’s not quite the image of beauty the community expects to see.”

“Well…” I hesitated, looking for the right words. “The unsaddled horse represents bravery, for all those Explorers about to go out today. And the dog…” I looked around to find Blue, but he was nowhere in sight. My heart skipped a beat. “The dog represents loyalty, the way the Explorers will have to be loyal to each other. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really have to go—”

“Just one more question, Ms. Barek, if you may?” The reporter protested, coming a step closer.

“Yelena. Please, call me Yelena. And I’m very sorry, I will answer whatever questions you have left after the ceremony,” I dipped into a tiny bow for politeness, the way my parents always taught me, and then hurried off, horse in hand.

I weaved through the crowds—which wasn’t so hard since I had a horse behind me—calling out Blue’s name. People gave me even more odd looks, but I just smiled politely and went on my way. I was so focused on finding my dog that I barely even noticed the figure in front of me. The next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the ground, the world tilting as I collided with them.

“Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry, are you okay?” The stranger gasped.

I looked up in shock, breathing heavily. I tried not to sound too annoyed when I said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had the wind knocked out of me.”

The stranger's eyes narrowed, and he retracted the hand that was held out previously. He muttered a quick word before starting to walk away.

“What did you say?” I got off the ground, walking in front of the boy so he couldn’t leave.

“I called you a ‘cooler,’” He said, a bit louder.

Squaring my shoulders, I studied the boy closer. Disheveled black hair, dark brown eyes, and tan skin. His clothes looked somewhat poorly. Probably someone from the Fields, by the looks of it.

“Look, I don’t really care about what the likes of you say about me, so you can stop with your ‘insults,’” I gave him an impressive eye roll.

He burst out laughing, miming brushing tears from his eyes. “Insults? Insults!?” He stopped laughing abruptly and glared at me, “Your kind insult us everyday! We’re out there putting the food on your table and you all just hate us!”

Neptune snorted and stamped his hooves, giving the boy what seemed like a glare. I moved to stop him, rubbing his muzzle with my hand. “Trust me, I don’t hate all of you. Only the ones who think they’re better than us just because of…well, actually, I don’t even know.”

“Exactly. If that,” He pointed to the sky, “collapsed, who’s gonna be the ones to be safe? Who’s actually gonna be invited into bunkers?”

I paused, looking down at the ground. It wasn’t my fault. That’s just the way the world was. “I wouldn’t leave everyone else to die. I doubt many people would. That’s the problem with you guys. You’re so blind.”

“Tell that to me when enough of us die.”

It seemed like my imagination, but I thought I saw a tear slip down his cheek before he turned and walked away. Sighing, I grabbed Neptune’s reins and led him to the nearest tree. I quickly tied him to the tree and went back into the crowd. It was probably no use looking for Blue anymore, but I called his name a few more times anyway.

No luck.

Suddenly, the chatter of people died down into a murmur. Applause broke out among the crowd, and I realized an official had walked onto the stage. He was dressed in a fancy, dark blue robe with golden trimmings along the sides. His dark hair was cut neatly, and he had a decent sized black beard that went to just below his neck.

“Good evening, fellow citizens,” The official said into the microphone. His deep voice boomed around the plaza, though, something seemed off. Almost as if he had recited this speech so many times before that he was getting bored of it. “Today we will be marking five new Explorers as they go past our safe Dome, and explore the dangerous world outside. They will face many challenges, struggles, and have much difficulty to survive. So, give a warm round of applause to the Explorers of our age!”

The plaza erupted in cheering, screamings, and applause. One by one, each of the Explorers came out onto the sage and bowed in front of the people. There were four men, all in their mid twenties or thirties, and one girl, around twenty years of age. They were all wearing the same uniform of light grey overalls tucked into similar colored boots, and helmets like a beekeeper’s hat, the mesh replaced with a clear plastic.

“Alright, thank you everyone,” The official held up his hand to silence the crowd. “Now we will hear a few words from our very own Yelena Barek, who was kind enough to join us today! Please, Ms. Barek,”

I blew out a breath, taking a few trembling steps up the stage. The official nodded and handed me the microphone, which I almost dropped since my hands were shaking so bad. Clearing my throat, I started my speech from memory.

“Good evening, fellow women, men, and children. As you all know, five brave Explorers will be setting out today to find what we’re not brave enough to find. To see what we can’t see. And for that, we should be deeply grateful.” I paused, looking around for dramatic effect.

“Our world, since the apocalypse years ago, has been cast into darkness, barely holding together. It is only for the government, who figured out a way to make these bubbles—Domes—all over the earth, who sustained us. Many were lost, but many were saved through the brave actions of the government. In these Domes, we are safe. We have land, food, water, homes. Much more than we ever could’ve dreamed of. Now, these Explorers are going out of our safe Domes we’ve been living in for so long, braving the world outside where there is no suitable air to breathe, or water to drink.”

“They do this in hopes of making our world, once again, on the true surface like it should always have been. This is a great sacrifice, for we know not many ever return. But here’s to having this group be the ones who finally come back to us!”

The crowd burst out into more applause, and I caught my mother’s eye in the front row. She shook her head slowly and walked away, obviously disapproving of what small mistakes, rather, imperfections that I made.

“What wise words,” The official came over again and took the mic from my hands, “And now, I will list the names of those going and we will wish them one, final, goodbye,”

A chill crawled up my spine as he said it. Something just seemed wrong about the way he said ‘final’ goodbye.

“Leonard Dangsley. Patrick Dangsley. Oswald Fisher. Gerald Cayman. Juliette Rose. Thank you, and that concludes our ceremony.”

There was a moment of silence, and then the talking resumed. People seemed quite unbothered that these five Explorers were basically going out there for a death wish. I caught a quiet exchange between Juliette Rose and someone in the crowd.

A truly final goodbye.